<span>Monthly Archives</span><h1>June 2018</h1>
    Inspirational, Migration

    Time to make things right

    June 21, 2018

    For the past months, I was really emotionally unstable and my brain was a mess and my previous post have the details. I really felt the stress all over my body and I also got sick. Thanks God I was able to get out of that situation.

    One day, we were in the library and saw one of the books with warning tag, “The Less Stress Lifestyle”. Maybe it’s time to read this and it might help me. But one week had passed and I was still in the first chapter. I am not a bookworm. I only read pocketbooks(novels) and 3 inspirational ones but that’s ages ago. However, I cannot let go of that book so I keep renewing it. Somehow, deep inside I know it will change my perspective of handling stress.

    One night, a friend messaged me and confided her situation. She was also not okay. As a friend, I wanted to help her. I gave some opinions and shared my issues too. We comforted each other. Unknowingly, our advice seems like a strong reminder on how to deal with our issues. It goes down to talking heart to heart with your partner. Of course, the best person to help you is your partner or the person who live under the same roof as yours. If he will not understand, then who will.

    We were almost finishing our lunch that day when I broke down in tears. I told my husband my thoughts, my failures, my failed wants, everything. I know it will make him feel bad but he needs to know. We talked about the issues and how we’re going to fix them. I thank God for giving me a supportive husband. It really feels a lot better after talking to him.

    First of all, I need to fix my relationship with my daughter. I stop looking for job(but only for sometime). If I see an opportunity, I will apply. I try to do some chores when she is sleeping and set them aside when she’s awake so that I have more time with her. Deep breathing whenever she throws tantrums but of course there are still “face the wall” moments.

    Last month, we went to Sydney to renew our passports and met our friends. I had the chance to chat with my female friends and 2 of them are moms. This vacation which gave us time to bond as a family and with friends, hearing their stories and sharing mine completely got me out of the mess. Yes, I can share my issues with my friends in chat application but nothing really beats when you share them personally to your friends and learn from their stories too. Everyone has a story and sometimes all we need is to listen and learn from their experiences.

    Know that difficult time will resurface, it’s just that we don’t know when, but we are never alone in the battle. We just need to keep trying, accept our situation, admit that we need help and let go the things we cannot control. Worrying too much will not help. My husband is right. Instead of worrying, I should do something to improve myself. I will by learning web development(typescript and angular). This is hard for me coz I realize I am too lazy to study. I fell asleep most of the time, I get bored. I am easily distracted by other stuffs. But I will continue and hopefully will get what I want to achieve. I will try my best to finish the book. As of this writing, I am already in chapter 7. There are so many things I want to do. But time to be realistic and only do what I can do, one at a time. Things will always get better. One had reminded me to trust God, to enjoy the journey. I will.

    For now I am a housewife, a stay at home mom. I enjoy every bit of it. I can fulfill my duties as wife and mom and for now that’s all that matters to me. There are so many work inside the house but sometimes I still miss working outside. I joined the Melbourne playgroup to meet more moms and establish my network. Sometimes, I still think about money. But this time, I don’t let this eat me.

    I have a lot of realizations for the past months. I learned a lot. Thank you to my friends who are always with me even we’re miles and miles away and for my family in Philippines who support my decisions even if they will affect them. To my own family, for being the anchor of my life. Most of all, thanks God for giving me these wonderful people. I will forever be grateful for having such blessing and for surrounding me with so much love.

    This is the situation that gives birth to kusinelda. I’m back to blogging and it really feels good. Why am I into blogging? I will tell you next time. 🙂

    Inspirational, Migration

    When things seem to be going wrong

    June 21, 2018

    Place to live is ticked. It’s time to focus on finding a job. Oh man, it’s so difficult. There are not much C++ opportunities in Australia. If there is, it’s either not match with my skills or need to obtain a security clearance which is only given to citizens or for some with special cases. Because of this, I have too much time to think, to reflect on so many things and look into the future. Now it’s not good. Overthinking will result to unwanted and unnecessary stress. Migration itself is already a stress.

    What if we did not leave Singapore? What if I applied in Germany? What if we went back to Philippines? … If I write all my “what-if”, I’ll have a long list.

    Should I create an application using C++ Qt to improve my skills? Should I continue learning the C# WPF? Should I learn database, typescript and angular? Should I change my career and try testing and support? And so many questions whenever I didn’t hear from the recruiter anymore.

    We have outstanding loans and we give support to our families. I have this pride of earning my own money to support my family and doesn’t like the idea of forking it out from my husband’s earned income. My husband and my family in Philippines are facing some issues too. The pressure started to creep inside of me.

    I would like to help but what should I do? Should I apply for casual job? Should I sell something? Should I do freelance job? Should I apply for online tutor? Another list of questions.

    Being emotionally not okay means I easily became impatient and angry whenever my daughter did something wrong or throwing tantrums and wanting her daddy even he’s working. Until I realized that our relationship was no longer ok. She cried. I cried. And then we decided to enroll her in a child care center twice a week. The search for the child care center and meeting all their requirements like immunization record in Australia, having a maternal and child health nurse and proof of allergic reactions signed by a pediatrician, consume most of my time and set aside my job hunting. When the session started, I am back with my questions although things got a little bit better coz I have 2 days to do some household chores, study and look for job. Still me and my daughter were like dog and cat.

    One day, my husband received a call from a recruiter(oh yes, he has call even if he is not looking for job, how ironic). It went pretty smooth and fast and he gets the job. Now what? He will be working outside. This is not the plan. The plan is he will work from home, I work full time outside and our daughter will go to childcare at most 3 days/week. How are we going to manage this?

    I really felt that I failed as a mom, as a career woman and as a daughter. I am good for nothing. One once told me not to worry because things will be okay because he knows that I will do my best. Am I really that kind of person ‘coz right now, I am not seeing her. I was not telling these thoughts to my husband. I was ashamed to admit that I am not helping to make our situation better. I started to take comfort from watching series but at the end of the day, it made me feel miserable because I was aware that I was wasting my time. Was I in the brink of having depression? Maybe but I felt really stressed and I need to get out of there as soon as possible. Actually I did and I will tell you on my next post ‘coz this is already long enough to read. Thank you for your time.

    Foods, PinoyFood

    Embutido

    June 18, 2018

    My challenge last week was to take a break from stir fry dishes ‘coz my husband started to request some viands. To take the challenge to the next level, I decided to finally make an Embutido, a Filipino style meat loaf. The first time I made an embutido was when I was in Grade 6 as part of Home Economics project. This dish takes a lot of effort to make. I just like to cook those which I can finish within 1 hour. Making embutido surely will take me hours with constant break to take care of my daughter. After more than two decades, I tried again. That decade thing surely makes me feel old. Hehehe.

    My husband came from a family who’s used to eating embutido because his mother knows how to do it well and tasty. Why not ask her recipe? Ok. I will. But time difference and her schedule and mine did not meet. So I ended up googling “Panlasang pinoy embutido” and this was my guide in making one.

    Normally, I don’t follow the exact ingredients and procedure. I still stick on what I have in the kitchen and adjust according to the recipe. Because of this, my dishes are sometimes tasty, sometimes nasty(but edible) lols. Sweet pickle relish is one of the important ingredients of embutido. To be honest, I don’t know what sweet pickle relish is. I went to the supermarket and voila! there are lots of pickled stuffs. Which one to choose? I spent a lot of time reading all the labels with pickle word in it and ended up choosing sweet mustard sandwich pickle spread. I know it’s not the same pickles that we have in Philippines but I couldn’t find anything close to what it looks like and we can use the remaining stuffs as sandwich spread. I changed tomato sauce to tomato paste. I just prefer paste over sauce for cooking. I did not use cheddar cheese but the flavored cheese I have and use the herb & garlic breadcrumbs instead of the plain breadcrumbs.

    As for the procedure, I put all the ingredients in the bowl(except hotdogs and boiled eggs) and mix everything. I don’t have a steamer so I used the small steamer which comes with the rice cooker and two sauce pans. After steaming, I can’t wait to taste it and I was disappointed with the texture. It’s too watery. Huhuhuhu! But soooo delicious!!

    The next day, when I open the foil, it was no longer watery. It’s tasty! Woohoo! And guess what, my husband and my daughter love them! My heart is overjoyed. The 5 hours I spent for making this dish were worth it. But I will not do it again anytime soon. Hahaha. See some of photos in my instagram post.

    Migration

    Moving to a new home

    June 3, 2018

    After moving to the new apartment, I became busy finding the right furniture and appliances. Right means, within a budget but trusted brands and can fit on the allotted space. This is again something new to us. We had never shop for furniture and appliances before because we rented fully furnished HDB units in Singapore. Thanks to AU-NZ trips last year and the airbnb where we stayed. They gave me the idea of what to put in the small apartment and how to use a dishwasher. I even messaged the owner of the airbnb property to ask where she bought those items in their unit. Hehehe! She was very helpful. If ever you decided to visit Melbourne, I will recommend this airbnb listing: Cosy, light-filled with harbour view Lynda and David are wonderful hosts and their property is within the free tram zone and the station is right on your doorstep.

    Back on the furniture and appliances hunting, I list all the items we needed and compare prices. I would say that the furniture is difficult because there are so many suppliers and shops online and around Melbourne. For appliances, we only have 2 options: Harvey Norman or JB Hi-Fi. My first goal is to buy bedroom furniture which can be delivered as soon as possible. I had to frequently go out to check the shops I saw online. I went to Ikea Richmond and the other shops in Victoria Gardens, DFO South Wharf, Target in Bourke Street, Factory Outlet near us and QV Mall.

    Sometimes I will ask my husband and daughter to go with me on weekends. One day when we were heading to Ikea, my husband commented that the place was too far. Oh well it was his first time to go out of the free tram zone and going to Ikea takes more than half an hour. Only then he realized how far I traveled to find a house. We managed to complete the important furniture and appliances in 2 weeks.

    Some tips I can share for beginners like me are:
    1. Buy a tape measure. Measure the allotted space for each item, take note of them and bring the tape measure when going out.
    2. Measure the width, height and depth of the allotted space. Normally shops will display or include the dimension of the item.
    3. List the important stuffs and consider your budget without sacrificing the quality. Necessary furniture and appliances are investments.
    4. For renters, don’t forget that you are renting. Buy stuffs which can be installed without breaking the tenancy agreement and it can fit in the door once you move out. The last one is specifically for those furniture that you assembled by yourself.
    5. If you have a small kid, choose kid-friendly furniture as much as possible and leave enough space where your kid can play.

    It has been 3 months since we purchased the following items and we they are still as good as new. If you need ideas where to buy, here are the things we bought and where we bought them.

    Regal Sleep Solutions South Wharf – bed frame, mattress, headboard, pillows, pillow and mattress protector
    JB Hi-Fi South Wharf – fridge, washing machine, dryer, rice cooker, TV (but they have lots of products)
    Harvey Normal (QV Mall) – vacuum (just happens that the vacuum we wanted was cheaper in this shop so better compare with JB Hi-Fi)
    Adairs DFO – quilt cover, fitted sheet, pillow case, bath towels (Adairs is more expensive than target but the quality is better so watch out for sale)
    Target Centre Melbourne – quilt and other small stuffs in the house like clock
    Ikea Richmond – kid’s table & chairs, shelves, storage container, dining set, kitchen utensils, bath mat, rugs
    Kogan – shoe rack, coat rack

    Although starting a new life will hurt your pocket but it’s a wonderful experience. Since I do not have a job yet, there are more factors to consider when getting money out of your pocket. The joy of hearing the intercom because it means new items are coming. The satisfaction of seeing the transformation of the empty space into a livable one. We learned a lot of things and it started to feel like, you’re home.