The Valentine of my Life

“Valentine” is the term we use to refer to that special someone every February 14. Mostly, our Valentine is our partner, if we have one. But we have live in this world long enough and probably your Valentine today is not the same person 10 years ago. This time, I will tell you about the persons who become my Valentine within the more than 3 decades of my life.

My parents, aunties and grandmother. Even if I don’t have any memory of Feb 14 when I was a baby and kid, they raised me so all my love that time must be in one of them if not all.

Mama and Papa. I remember when I was a kid, my mom was our(my sisters) Valentine. But we are not good in expressing our love personally. We made the valentine card and hid them on her closet. My father on the other hand was living in the city so we sent him snail mail on every occasion. They will always be my Valentine for life.

My sisters. We are not getting along well when we were young. You know that sibling fights were always there. Don’t get me wrong, we were above average in terms of the phrase,”good kids”. We were the kids you wish to have. Hahaha! The saying, “Side by side or miles apart, sisters are always connected by heart.”, is very true to us. Now all of us are living in different countries, but we know we always have each others’ back.

Friends. They do come and go. But there are friends who are buried deep in my heart that even if we were thousand miles apart, friendship is still alive. At some point in time, I used to buy flowers for my friends or dine with them on V-day even if I have a boyfriend. Living in Singapore for years gave me friends for keeps in spite of our culture differences.

Crush and puppy loves. Nope. They never become my Valentine. They gave me roller coaster emotions but all of them were unrequited. On every V-day, I expected but those expectations went to the trash bin. Feb 14 was the day where I wrote and tore love letters as soon as I finished writing them.

My only boyfriend, my only ex, my husband. Having him makes me think about what to do on Valentine’s day. But guess what, we rarely celebrate. Both of us are shy to carry flowers while walking on the streets. On our first valentine, he gave me flowers which were in his backpack and I didn’t dare to get it until we reached my home. I am not a fan of chocolates so no, thank you. He is not the typical guy who gives flowers so when he does, it’s one for the books. But one thing I appreciate the most is he knows how much I value my friends that he is willing to give flowers to a friend who spends V-day with me. Now, that’s rare. The only romantic valentine’s date we had was when his boss gave us a surprise intimate romantic dinner in Little Bali, Singapore. He is certainly the right and my forever Valentine.

My daughter. She is my chocolate on V-day since she was born. The kind of chocolate which is sweet, salty and bitter in one. Hahaha!

Myself. Yes. You read it right. This year, my Valentine is myself. I was harsh to myself last year when things were not going according to my expectations. Self-love was something I lost last year and get them back before 2018 ended. I know many friends can relate to me. Let’s work hard on loving ourselves more. Only then we can radiate love to others. Today, a new friend in her 50s hug me with messages that almost made me cry. I barely know her and vice versa but today she asked a lot of questions about me and I answered honestly. Some days are cold, but season changes. Someday when it gets warmer, we’ll realize that cold days are meant to make us appreciate the warmer days.

In more than 3 decades in this world, I have so many Valentines and I thank God for giving them to me. I may be lacking with so many things based on society’s standards but I have so much love around me and I hope to radiate it to the people who walk into my life. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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